Hi lovelies
The other night I was lying awake in bed and like any normal night I was
messaging my friend Becky. I was lying there, enclosed in the darkness thinking about my
gcse options and what I want to be and achieve and it suddenly hit me that I
was nobody. I came to the realisation that I want to be all these amazing
things and I want to have all these amazing talents and I just can’t say I do
right now. I thought to myself, if I die tomorrow, what have I achieved in my
life? What will people say I did? And I felt really sad. I told Becky this and
she told me "of course you are not just anybody, you are you".
Well...I am me but who am I. I've become so engrossed in finding myself and
figuring out who I am instead of who I want to be. I told Becky "well, Of
course I'm me but I am nothing. If you had a brick and you named the brick Sam
then Sam is simply a brick and there’s nothing more to him" And she had a
pretty good answer for that in my opinion.
She told me that from the moment we are born every person you meet,
every song you hear...Everything you do becomes you. Have you ever had a moment
where you have found a poem or book that is so beautiful and exquisite that it
has found itself a place in your mind and heart and imprints itself there for eternity?
The sort of song that fills you with this indescribable sensation and you know
you will never be the same without hearing it a million more times. Every fact
you learn, ever place you travel and the people who influence you, they alter
you. They influence you in ways that are pretty damn crazy when you think about
it. People have so many diverse opinions and when you share them we all take
extracts of people. When you spend time with the ones you love they become a
part of your life in such a gigantic way. We are developing every day, even if
you are sat on your bum having a lazy day with your best friend!
So it turns out that Sam isn’t just a brick...He has a story. He has
been cemented along with other bricks who he shares his life with. He has
helped be a part of things that are startling. He had been part of a house. And
one day when he is crumbling, He will have a story. Everyone has a story in the end.
So Sam kind of made me realise that I don’t have to be so paranoid about
being something because I've always been something. Me. A human being. The most
complicated creature to walk this earth.
Who would have thought that a brick could influence me....?
